


Elegy to the Void

by det395



Series: Map to the Stars [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22122046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/det395/pseuds/det395
Summary: The night after the war ends is a celebration, filled with love and hope, but the day after the war feels different. Finn has to come to terms with the change happening all around him.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Map to the Stars [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592311
Comments: 7
Kudos: 109





	Elegy to the Void

It’s not easy to get alcohol in the Resistance Base, but the hiding spots must have opened like a dam since the war ended. Everyone has a bottle of fermented liquid in their hands, no effort to hide it, and no one to care. Finn and Poe are the Generals, and they don’t have a care in the world for anything but each other.

They might still be in the woods making out against a tree if BB-8 hadn’t come rolling out and bumped into their legs. It’s a good thing they didn’t miss the commemoration and cheers in the end. Poe’s ego is through the roof, Finn can tell.

People are mingling now, in the same space they worked for what felt like years upon years. Even the robots are running and rolling and gliding around rapidly, talking and beeping and joining in on the excitement. 

Finn and Poe only need to lean against the wall as people line up to come and congratulate them, to tell them about the things they saw, the feats the accomplished amidst the rush of fighting. The way they felt when an array of ships were suddenly in the sky behind them, after they had just about lost hope. 

Finn eats it up, but he also feels exhaustion seeping into his bones as the interaction continues. Poe might be the same, he thinks, noticing the way he’s quiet for once, only a content smile given to their excited comrades.

They’ve barely slept for days. 

Rey is quiet, too. She’s clearly lost in her head, but she ends up leaning against the wall with them. They’re all quiet, for once. Lost in the feeling of _after._

People stop walking up to them. Some people are drunk and lingering to a circle of equally drunk people, while others walk away hand-in-hand. It’s never felt so safe and free in this area.

Rey leans against Finn shoulder and on his other side, Poe links their hands together. His calloused fingers rub against Finn’s hand repeatedly. 

Suddenly, Rey straightens up.

“I’m heading out early tomorrow. I should sleep,” she says.

“Where?” Poe asks, at the same time as Finn says “why?”

“Tattooine,” she says to Poe, before turning to Finn. “I need to do something. And I need some time to think.”

She looks around the compound, worrying at her lip. 

“You need to be around friends,” Poe says.

She ignores him and looks over at Finn. “Have you ever thought about choosing a last name?”

He hesitates. “No. Not really,” he says. 

“Not even just… not just a name, but about becoming apart of a family. Identifying with them, making it your own?” Rey gesticulates but lets her arms drop against her side.

“Rey… we are like family,” Finn says.

“There’s no limit to the number of families you can have,” Poe adds on.

“I know, I know,” she mutters. “I really do feel that and believe that, it’s just, you guys are… well, it’s different for me. And I need to do some thinking. You understand that?”

Finn puts his hand on her shoulder and nods.

“You’ll be here when I’m back?” She looks between them. 

Poe is the one to pull them into another three-way hug. He’s always been the tactile one, Finn realizes, the one who has always been like this with family and friends, while Rey and him were alone. He can get used to the nice touches, that’s for sure.

“You guys can join the Dameron’s, be associated with the best General in the universe,” Poe says, cocking his head to the side.

“Excuse me?” Finn says while Rey scoffs. Poe meets his eyes and gives a surprisingly shy smile, before pulling away from the hug.

“I’ll be back eventually, okay?” Rey says, backing away from them. She has two lightsabers in her belt and she puts her hand on both of them as she gives one last smile and jogs away.

“Will we ever get her to stay still? Or settle down, just a bit?” Finn asks.

“She’s young, that will take a long time,” Poe says.

“I’m young, and I’m ready for a vacation,” Finn says.

“What are you saying about me, huh?” He smirks. 

Finn looks away, but he is enjoying this shyness he feels at this gaze that’s always been directed at him.

“So, what’s this vacation you’re planning?” Poe asks.

“Just me and my pillow and some beer,” Finn says, taking a sip. It’s warm and flat and he tries not to grimace.

“ _Just_ you?” Poe steps closer and Finn pushes his face away. No one’s paying them any mind but it still makes him nervous. 

Poe just smiles at him and Finn shrugs.

“You can come to my room,” Finn says.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m pretty knackered,” Poe says. 

“Alright, well,” he looks back towards the hall leading to their quarters, but before he finds the right words, Poe grabs his hand and pulls him along. No one bothers them or stops them as they sneak away.

Poe jumps on the bed as soon as he arrives and pulls off his boots before falling backwards and starfishing. Finn stands and stares at him, all of him, before Poe’s hands reach out for him and he walks forward. Poe’s hands pull him forward until he’s kneeling on the bed, legs on either side of Poe’s hips. He leans forward and he’s fully hovering over him, faced with Poe’s warm expression only inches away. It feels like the first time all over again, like making out in front of a tree was only a fever dream. 

“How long?” Finn asks suddenly.

“Since the very beginning,” Poe says, putting his arms behind his head. He looks just delicious, Finn thinks.

“That you were into me?” 

“Yes,” Poe confirms. “And you?”

“I… I don’t know. I just did.”

Poe smiles fondly up at him. He leans his head up but Finn pulls back.

“Why didn’t you tell me, if you knew?” Finn asks.

Poe drops his head down again and his smile falters.

“If I lost you in the war, well… I didn’t want to know what I was missing. It would have been worse. I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. It was already, well, _you_ were already distracting.” His eyes are hooded as he stares around Finn’s face.

“Huh,” Finn says, because he’s too distracted to be articulate. With a tug from Poe, he lowers himself down onto Poe’s chest and connects their lips. It’s still a little awkward as they try to match up their movements, but it doesn’t take away from any of this feeling in his chest. If anything, it adds on to the feeling he has down lower.

"Is it bad that I was just waiting to get you alone again?" Poe whispers. Finn smiles widely at him.

They’re all lined up with their legs hanging off the bed, making them pressed together from head to toe. Not for the first time, Finn feels frustrated by all the fabric between them, but now with this position, he can feel a bulge in Poe’s pants right against his own. Just as he’s savouring it, Poe gets a hand between them and grabs Finn’s crotch, squeezing gently. Finn drops his head next to Poe’s shoulder and moves his hips back and forth. 

He groans when Poe pulls his hand away, but realizes it’s in an effort to get his shirt up. He lifts up onto his knees, pulls the shirt up, and crawls up to the pillows with Poe while trying to get his shirt off. The heat of their skin presses together.

They rut against each other and grope and breathe heavily, hearing the sounds of drunken singing through the walls. Finn doesn’t want to be anywhere else. He’ll happily stay here forever, he thinks. The feeling is intensified when Poe gets his pants off and whispers in his ear.

“I love you, you know. We waited so fucking—just come here, get on top of me again.”

Finn doesn’t need to be asked twice. He comes with the words falling off his tongue, knowing they’re true.

-

They wake in a messy pile of their own clothes, in need of showers and toothbrushes. Finn doesn’t move, though, Poe’s head is right on his chest and he cannot disturb that moment.

He’s never slept next to someone then woken up to them still here. It’s comfy, it’s warm and slightly smelly, but the musk doesn’t bother him. The only thing that is bothering him is the feeling in his chest telling him he needs to get up. Needs to do something. Train, find Rey, maybe save the galaxy.

He doesn’t, really. Things aren’t perfect, by all means, but he’s a general for a war that is, by most people’s standards, over. He shifts in bed until Poe sticks his head up.

“Hey, buddy,” Poe says. He rubs at his eyes.

“Buddy?”

“General? Comrade?” Poe tries, a smile in his voice.

Poe scoffs. “After the night we had,” he tries to joke. It falls a little flat, his mind on another planet.

“Y’good?” Poe asks. He reaches out a hand and rubs Finn’s shoulder.

“Yeah. I’m going to check if Rey is gone.” He snatches at the clothes, gathering what’s his before yanking it over his limbs and walking out the door without a glance back.

Finn does go to Rey’s quarters, but it’s empty, so he walks and asks people until he finds someone who knows, then walks off. Rey is gone, and he feels rather empty. Why hadn’t he woken up to see her one more time?

He keeps walking, pumping his legs like he’s on a mission to nowhere. He does stop to grab some food, but a stale bun is all he can get down. He walks and walks, but alas, there’s nothing for him to do. It’s rather harrowing. He wants to talk to Rey,

He walks outside, and into the woods. He doesn’t have a conscious decision, but he arrives at the spot where he first kissed Poe. He recognizes that tree, he’ll remember that tree forever. He puts his hand flat on it and stares. 

His eyebrows furrow as he focuses. But of course, nothing happens. He’s not _that_ strong, and who knows if he’ll ever be that strong.

Instead, he plops down on the ground, crossing his legs. He brushes at the ground until he finds a tiny pebble. 

An hour later, it’s twisting and turning in his hand without physical effort. 

-

Finn can admit he’s been missing Poe when he finally returns, hoping to find him in his room still. It’s empty, of course, Poe has his own life. But Finn sure wants them to be as interconnected as in his current daydreams. Wants to be next to him, all the time.

The scavenger hunt ends when he reaches Poe’s quarters. There he is, tossing something shiny up and down in the air. He drops it on the bed when he looks up at Finn.

“General,” Finn says. Poe only smiles in response. Finn slows as he crawls on the bed, sitting on the very edge. Not for the first time, he wishes physical contact was as easy for him as it is for Poe.

Thankfully, Poe reaches out a hand and it’s all he needs to move closer and settle his head on Poe’s shoulder. Poe rests his chin on Finn’s head, and he can feel the scratch of his stubble. It reminds him of last night. His heart is already beating at the newness of this.

He can also tell that Poe has something to say. It’s in the way he fidgets and clears his throat and keeps his eyes raised. Finn lifts up onto his elbows to look down at him and speak before he does.

“I’ve been feeling a bit on edge. I mean, everything’s different now, right?” Finn says.

Poe tilts his head hesitantly but says, “I guess. This is what we were always fighting for, though. It’s a good new. A continuation.”

“Yeah. It is.” Finn looks down.

“Do you mean that _we_ are new and different?”

“No,” Finn says instantly. “Well, we are. Maybe that’s part of it.”

"But... we're okay?" Poe asks, biting at his lip.

"Yeah. What?" Finn says instantly, realizing Poe is nervous. "It's not... that."

Poe nods understandingly but stares up like he wants Finn to speak.

“I’m having trouble finding my place, now. The resistance is the only place I’ve been by choice. The only place I fit in and had a good purpose. I know there is still some work to do… but if the resistance ends, where will I go?”

“With me,” Poe says. “Or with friends you’ve made.”

“But what will I _do_?” 

“Anything.”

“Anything,” Finn repeats.

“Yes,” Poe returns, smiling confidently.

"I don't want a vacation. I feel like I need to go do something. I just don't know what."

"We'll figure it out."

“I know I’m capable. I almost don’t want things to change. From before.” He flops back down on the bed. 

“You’re going to like the changes, Finn. We have so much to look forward to, now. And we are still, in effect, generals, and we can save the galaxy over and over again if you’d like.”

Poe leans up on his elbow now and looks at Finn with endless fondness. There are words on the tip of Finn’s tongue, but they don’t come. It isn’t time, not quite yet. Instead, Finn grabs Poe’s arm and pulls him on top of him, meeting those kind eyes and finally, those soft lips.

They have the privilege of time, safety and freedom, and Finn will hold onto that.

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog on Tumblr [here](https://det395.tumblr.com/post/190085764342/elegy-to-the-void) if you'd like!


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